There’s a reason why this is the first post on this blog.
Thinking about this topic has consumed me for over a decade.
Everything’s “epic” these days. That movie you watched last night. That band you saw. That speech Mark gave at your best friend’s wedding.
Everyone’s also encouraging us to break convention – to live an epic life.
But what does that even mean?
How do you actually do it?
The Lives Most of Us Live
To make things even more confusing, everyone has a different idea of what an “epic life” looks like.
So let’s start from the beginning. One thing we can all agree on: an epic life looks nothing like the lives most people live. An epic life is rare.
For me, an epic life is one spent in the pursuit of my highest ideals. This includes my career, but spreads into everything else – health, relationships, and even how I see the world.
In developed countries, most people live comfortable lives. But they’re far from epic.
That’s a big reason why they read stories. To plunge into a world of risk, reward, and life-changing stakes. It’s why I read – and write – too!
Living an epic life is making my life a bit more like the stories I love.
You know how so many people desperately need a vacation to look forward to?
What if your entire life was a vacation?
Not in the sense of traveling to exotic locales – though that’s certainly in the cards. But in the sense that I want to make my life into something from which I don’t need an escape.
The Price of an Epic Life
Everyone loves the idea of living an epic life. They geek out imagining the freedom, jet-setting, and throwing away their alarm clocks.
I know I did. One of the first things I noticed when I decided to follow this path was the price.
What do you have to give up to live an epic life?
A hell of a lot, actually. You’ll probably endure:
- A metric ton of discomfort
- Broken (or seriously tested) relationships with the people you love
- Envy
- Poverty
- Weird looks from family/friends for not following a conventional path
And those are just off the top of my head.
Being epic means being a little nuts. It means rejecting the default option, which is comfortable and not so bad at all.
How I’m Doing It
Some things in my life are more epic than before. But I have a long way to go. I’m not coming at this pretending to be some untouchable guru or expert.
All I can offer are the things I’ve found helpful so far.
Here we go:
1. It Starts with a Bold Vision
As fickle as we humans are, we’re pretty good at ending up where we want to go.
Give us a destination and GPS magic, and we’ll be there eventually. But without that destination, we find ourselves going in circles.
This goes for life, I’ve found.
I wasted so much time trying to get better without a clear vision of where I wanted to go.
I don’t want that for you. That’s why I’m saying that an epic life begins with an epic vision.
What do you want your life to look like?
Where do you spend your time?
Who do you spend it with, and how do you spend it?
The bigger, bolder and more audacious, the better.
Remember, an epic life – by its very nature – is unrealistic. “Realistic” means saddling yourself with credit card death, and struggling to pay the note on your mortgage while your 1.7 children bicker because you haven’t bought them the latest iPhone.
Get granular with this. Write it out in as much detail as you can imagine. Your epic vision can and will change with time, and that’s totally cool. The main thing is to have one and keep it fresh in your mind.
2. Learn to Love the Grind
Today was a battle. Yesterday was a battle, and tomorrow will be a battle too.
So rest your weary little head. Start to love winning. It’ll help if you develop a taste for blood.
One thing you’ll notice when you start trying to live epically – everything around you is trying to carry you the other way. Having an epic day means dodging all the mediocrity traps before they can get their hooks in you.
This shit can wear on you, especially in the beginning. But you have to take plenty of punches and keep fighting before you learn how to dodge.
Every decision matters.
Do you watch that YouTube video or work?
Go to the gym or sink into the couch?
The comfortable, default choices are everywhere you look. Making them is as easy as going along with gravity. Sometimes they can pull at you like the Death Star’s tractor beam.
You can’t ignore those temptations. It’d be great if they weren’t around, but they are.
So you have to start fighting back. And learn to savor all those small victories. And go to bed each night knowing that your life is one hair more epic than it was the day before.
It won’t get any easier, but you’ll get tougher.
3. Value Experiences over Possessions
Ever heard of any epic possessions?
Me neither.
But what about epic stories?
I could tell you a few. Other than a six-pack or two, the one thing tying them together is that they’re all experiences.
Possessions weigh you down. Before you know it, you start developing weird emotional attachment issues and find yourself on the next season of Hoarders. You start to feel like a prisoner in your own home. And that isn’t far from the truth.
Don’t get me wrong. I love stuff. There’s a lot to be said for nice clothes, a comfortable house, and quality craftsmanship that lasts.
What I don’t love is how buying things has a sneaky way of trying to replace actual experiences.
Sure, buying a Ferrari sounds awesome. But is it going to be that much of a better experience than a Camry if you’re just sitting in traffic? What if you took that money and traveled the world for a year instead?
I’m trying to focus on possessions that enhance experiences. So far this has been a constant work in progress; I always have to keep an eye out for things I actually need – instead of just convenient ways to feel better about myself or buy status.
4. Quit Trying to Be Brilliant; Stop Making Dumb Mistakes Instead
Here’s a painful truth that took way too long for me to admit: more often than not, I’m not exactly brilliant.
Expecting brilliance day in and day out is, for me, simply unrealistic. Sometimes I’m on; sometimes I’m off. Most days my my performance is around a 6 or 7 out of 10.
Trying so hard to be brilliant was putting a ton of pressure on myself. Which was completely unnecessary.
I’ve made more progress by changing the question. Now I ask myself, “What can I do today to make sure I don’t do anything stupid?”
It seems like a subtle change, but it’s made a big difference. Instead of trying to force those magical 9 or 10 out of 10 days, I’m trying to avoid the 2’s and 3’s.
Bottom line: it’s so much easier to avoid dumb mistakes than try to be brilliant.
5. You Can’t Afford to Wait
For many years, my vision for an epic life was put on hold. This wasn’t because of any external circumstances; the delay was completely self-imposed.
Basically I was sitting around waiting to feel motivated enough to get started. For some huge, sweeping shift in consciousness to lead me to the next level.
Yeah, right!
That “perfect time” you’re waiting for?
It’ll never come.
There will never be an ideal time to blow up your life and build something better. No matter how much you read and prepare, you’ll never be ready.
The Teddy Roosevelt approach will serve you better: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
Every once in a while, you’ll level up your life in a significant way. But most progress toward epic land is slow and steady. It happens from day to day. Sometimes the changes are so tiny you hardly even notice them.
Forget about waiting for some divine inspiration. Instead, do what you can to make this month one percent more epic than the last. Keep doing that month after month, and before you know it you’ll transform your life.
Compound interest, baby. Compound interest.
6. Accept that Building an Epic Life Isn’t Always Epic
Building an epic life and living one are completely different.
Sometimes building can be fun. But more often than not, it’s countless hours of grinding. It’s being willing to do the things that others – the people who live mediocre lives – won’t.
That can get boring in a hurry.
You won’t exactly feel “epic” dragging yourself in front of a computer to work while your family hangs out in the other room. Or clearing your weekends for a side project.
You have to come to terms with this.
You have to be willing to sacrifice now for an incredible tomorrow.
It’s Your Choice
Living average isn’t so bad these days.
You’ll be comfortable, with plenty of normal friends and digital toys to keep you entertained.
For most people that’s more than enough.
But for those of us looking for something more?
An epic life is one that’s fully lived – on your terms and yours alone.
That comes at a steep price. Long hours to grind. Comfort to be sacrificed. An almost delusional confidence in your ability to make it work.
All it takes to live epically is everything you have.
Are you willing to pay it?
price cialis
Living an Epic Life – Corey Pemberton